MAY 1, 2001
THE COUNTRY CORNER
The increasing number of American tourists with
little or no knowledge of the Spanish language who visit
Puerto Rico has prompted the Department of Tourism to
request a San Juan furniture store to change its window
display. The window contains a selection of comfortable-looking
beds with a sign: "SIN PRONTO."
The Irish have captured the world's imagination, and the game of interpreting them has been going on for centuries, often with doubtful results.
O'Hara the butcher was telling some trade secrets to his new appentice. "If somebody comes in and wants to know the price of a leg o'mutton, you say 'five pounds.' Watch them very carefully. If they don't wince, at least like Mrs. Mulligan always does, you can say, 'and seventy-five pence.' If they still don't twitch, you can say, 'each one!'"
a great big stout strong lump
A Texan who saw Niagra Falls described it as "Water flowing like champagne."
At a gas
station in a small Texas town an old man sat dejectedly
watching the cars go by. A visiting Vermonter remarked
that everything looked so dry and asked when it had last
oilmen walked into a Cadillac showroom in Dallas and one
of them asked a salesman, "How much is that de luxe
On a train
in Texas, a soldier, homesick for the bustle of New York
City, turnred to his seat mate and exclaimed disgustedly,
"Texas! You can have it."
Adam ate the apple, and our teeth still ache.
Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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