son was coming back from market with a crate of chickens
his father had entrusted him with when the box fell and
broke open. The chickens scattered in all directions. The
son quickly repaired the crate and went in search of the
missing chickens. Eventually he started back to the farm,
anticipating the worst from his father.
"Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed
sadly' "but I managed to find all 10
"Well you did a real good job, son."
the farmer beamed "You only left with 6."
COMMENTS ABOUT STUDENTS
sharp as a marble.
A few clowns short of a circus.
The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl.
One taco short of a combination plate.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
All foam, no beer.
Body by Fisher - brains
A few peas short of a casserole.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
An intellect rivaled only by that of garden tools.
Knows little, but leads the league in nostril hair.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Skylight leaks a little.
Not the brightest color in the crayon box.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
gent was flirting with a beautiful waitress. "Tell
me sweetheart, where have you been all my life?"
"Actually sir," she pointed out sweetly "for
the first 45 years of it, I wasn't even around."
brings the customer his steak with his thumb on top of
"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer "You
have your hand on my steak!"
"Do you want it to fall on the floor again?"
answers the waiter.
A visitor to Beartown walked up to 96 year
old Hugh Rounds who was sitting on the bench outside the
"Been here all your life?." said the flatlander.
"Not yit" said Hugh.
SOMEBODY SAY BEARTOWN?
6PM the bus terminal was crowded. A woman sat wiping her
eyes and answering the questions a man was asking in a
Suddenly the man rose and faced the crowded room. "Good
people," he said, "Here is a poor woman who
wants enough money to take her to visit her family in
Denver. I myself am not wealthy but I am willing to
contribute $10. How many of you will add something?"
Off came his hat, and inside it, added to the $10 bill,
there was soon a considerable pile of money with which
the woman hurried to the ticket window.
A man on the fringe of the crowd came up to the man who
had started the collection. "Joe Gordon, aren't you?"
"And isn't that your wife?"
"She is." he admitted shamelessly. "And why shouldn't
I give my wife a $10 bill to help her off on a visit?"
working on a log drive, a lumberjack fell into the water.
Dizzy and nearly exhausted, he managed to grasp a big log
and hold onto it. The current was so strong and swift
that it swept his body under the log until his feet stuck
out the other side.
Just as a comrade, who had run to his assistance, grabbed
him by the shoulders, he caught sight of his own feet
protruding on the other side of the log.
"I can hold on a little longer, Jack," he
gasped. "Save the fellow who's in head first."
met a bear.
The bear was bulgy,
The bulge was Benjie.
tourist greatly admired the magnificent bulls he saw. At
one location he saw an especially wonderful animal,
stopped his car, took out his camera, and climbed a fence
to get a prize photo. Just then he saw a farmer looking
at him. "Hey there," said the tourist. "Can
you tell me? Is that bull safe?"
The farmers reply was short and to the point.
"A durn-sight safer than you are mister."
by a fifth grade
The bird I
am going to write about is an owl. I don't know much
about an owl so I am going to write about the bat. The
cow is a mammal. It has six sides, right, left, an upper
and a lower. At the back it has a tail on which hangs the
brush. With this it sends the flies away so they don't
get in the milk.
The head is for the
purpose of growing horns and so that the mouth can be
somewhere. the horns are to butt with and the mouth is to
eat with. Under the cow hangs the milk. The milk comes
and there is never an end to the supply. How the cow does
it I have not yet realized but it can make more and more.
The cow has a fine
sense of smell and you can smell it far away. This is the
reason for the fresh air in the country. The man cow is
called an ox. It is not a mammal.
The cow does not
eat much but what it eats it eats twice so that it gets
enough. When it's hungry it moos and when it says nothing
it's because its inside is full up.