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Operation Pig Water
 

In an effort to discourage Islamic extremists, U.S.-lead Coalition Forces have secretly begun smearing scientifically “altered” pig fat onto the bodies of dead and captured terrorists, according to a undisclosed official U.S. source. This same official says that the pig fat has been scientifically altered and the final product is colorless, odorless and has the consistency of “water.”
“Operation Pig Water” was developed from the Islamic belief that any contact with a pig is an “unholy” act that will deny any believer access to heaven.
“We needed to do something to discourage terrorists from thinking they will go to heaven when they die fighting infidels or coalition forces,” says the undisclosed official U.S. source. When we kill or capture a terrorist, we smear them with this new pig “water” so they will go where we want them to go – to hell!”
When asked, the official confirmed the prohibition against bringing pork products into Moslem countries, but would not describe exactly how or where the pig fat oil (water) is being transported. However, the speculation is that this scientifically altered pig fat or “water” is being transported into Afghanistan and Iraq and other neighboring areas where terrorists are known to harbor.
The official went on to say that, in addition to wiping or smearing dead and captured terrorists with this “pig water,” all munitions have also been treated with the same pig “water.” So, if terrorists believe that what they’re doing will send them to heaven for their evil deeds, they’re wrong. They’re actually begging for a one-way ticket to hell!”
“Furthermore, only a few top U.S.-lead Coalition Forces personnel know about ‘Operation Pig Water.’ Because the pig ‘water’ so closely resembles water, U.S.-lead Coalition Forces soldiers don’t ask and really don’t care about what they’re doing. To them they’re just following orders. It’s our secret way of striking terror in the hearts and minds of all ruthless and barbaric terrorists who care nothing about freedom and innocent lives, said the official source,” who refuses to say where or how long “Operation Pig Water” has been employed.