see a lot of 'em nowadays, but there used to be enough of
'em around. About eight feet long and came in three
colors: orange, green, or yellow with blue dots. Color
depended on the kind of whisky the storyteller had been
drinking. Anyway,they had this barb or stinger at the end
of their tail with the deadliest poison in it. Why, if a
hoopsnake stung a big ole oak tree, the leaves would all
turn brown and the tree would die right there on the spot.
Course, when they got mad the hoopsnakes would just roll
up in a hoop like a wheel of a bike by takin' their barb
in their mouth. They'd just come rollin' after you that
Well, one day this farmer is out hoein' his field when he
looks down a row of corn, and there is one rollin' right
at him. He's so scared he can't move. All he's got
between him and the snake is that hoe handle; when the
hoopsnake unrolls and comes flyin' at him like a spear,
the farmer holds up the handle and the barb sticks right
Well, the farmer dropped the hoe and just ran on home. He
came back around dusk - real careful.
There was the hoopsnake lyin' dead with its barb still in
the hoe handle. Now the poison was all drained out of the
snake. But the hoe handle had swelled to the size of a
huge log. The farmer hauled the log to a sawmill and had
it cut into planks, beams and boards. Built a whole house
out of that wood.
Then it rained so hard trout were swimmin' by the windows.
Farmer woke up in the morning all wet with no roof at all
over his head - just a lot of little toothpicks all over
him. Seems that rain had washed all the poison out of
those logs. They just shrunk back to nothin'.
FROM SUNDAY SCHOOL
be Thy name"
"Give us this day our jelly bread"
"Lead us not into Penn station"
Did somebody say Beartown?
Use a meat baster
to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot
griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every
To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt
to the water before hard-boiling.
To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to
room temperature and roll them under your palm against
the kitchen counter before squeezing.
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still
cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the
excess salt for an instant fix.
Don't throw out all
that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use
in casseroles and sauces. Alka Seltzer will:
Clean a toilet. Drop in 2 tablets wait 20 minutes, brush
Polish jewlery. Put 2 tablets in a glass of water and add
jewlery for 2 minutes.
Unclog a drain. Put 3 tablets down drain followed by a
cup of white vinegar, wait a few minutes and run hot
Potatoes will take
food stains off your fingers. just slice and rub raw
potato on the stains and rinse with water.
To get rid of the itch from mosquito bites, try applying
soap on the area and you will experience instant relief.
Ants are said to
never cross a chalk line. Draw a line wherever ants tend
to march and see for yourself.
To keep potatoes from sprouting, place an apple in with
Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften
When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to
help bring out the corn's natural sweetness.
To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan
of cool, salted water. If it sinks. its fresh, but if it
rises to the surface, throw it away.
like to eat bananas.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with the
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange,
silver and purple.